Presented here are several of the customs, habits, and mildly questionable rituals that make the Big Red Tubas the best section in the Big Red Bands. Why do we do any of this? Hard to say. Some of these traditions probably started decades ago during a rehearsal someone forgot to cancel. Others came from a moment where one Tuba looked at another and said, “Hey, know what would be funny?” Almost none of them involve any planning.
Scheming
The Tubae are always scheming, whether on the field, in the stands, or at Tuesday Appel. The “scheming pose” has become our universal stance: eyes narrowed, hands clasped, faces very, very serious. Usually, this means we’re up to no good. Occasionally, it just means we want dessert.
Stealing Footballs
At every football game, the Tubae quietly (and very casually) “borrow” footballs from the opposing team. No one ever mentions it out loud, and the Drum Major definitely doesn’t know this happens. The confused kicker always looks around wondering where his footballs went, but we have never — not once — been caught.
Blocking Traffic
Tubae march at the front of the parade block, which naturally puts us in charge of stopping traffic. Whenever the route crosses a road, we spread out, halt oncoming cars by dancing for the drivers, and make sure the rest of the band crosses safely.
Fist Bumps
Whenever the football team scores, we celebrate by fist-bumping and counting up to the new point total, skipping any numbers that contain a 7 or are a multiple of 7. Because math is hard, we often mess this up.
Tuba Spin
Right before the band takes the field for pregame and halftime, two Tubae accompany the Drum Major on either side. As the Drum Major struts onto the field, the Tubae spin toward the sidelines. We look very cool doing this!
Dropping the Burrito
Every other year, when Cornell plays away at Yale, a massive burrito is hidden in a Tuba’s jacket and inconspicuously dropped on the field during halftime. Its destruction is monitored during the second half, and its remains inspected during the post-game concert. Again, we have, of course, never been caught.
Kidnapping the Drum Major
Each Homecoming, after the third quarter, the Tubae descend upon the podium, hoist the Drum Major into the air, and carry them away. The same happens at the last home game for the Drum Major-elect. They always see it coming but can never stop it.
Tuba Prom
In the Spring of 2025, Jonathan Miller ‘26 created a new tradition: Tuba Prom. We dress up, head to Stewart Park, take far too many photos, and then go out for dinner — Texas Roadhouse being the inaugural destination. Many people are saying the bones want to copy us. They are correct.
Tubaween
Every Halloween, the Tubae gather their forces (this year, we had 16ba!) and trek up to the McGraw Tower to serenade campus with spooky tunes. These include Alma Minor, Minor Moose, Midnight Song, Sonicboom, and Halloween Medley.
Over There
At hockey games, the Tubae walk over to the visiting team’s bench and blast “Over There.” After each phrase, the Lynah Faithful delivers the traditional chant: “Hey [school]!” / “Die!” / “Drop dead!” / “Go home!!” We bow, they yell “[number]ba,” and then the townies give us high-fives.
Announcing the Tuba Lord
Although the Tubae function as a proud communist collective, the band insists someone represents us in Bandstaph. Thus, once a year at senior rehearsal, the Tubae climb to the top of the Schoellkopf press box to announce the next Tuba Lord. This is our Section Liaison, chosen for reasons that range from leadership ability to “well… someone has to do it.”